Super Summary: 10 ways to have a better conversation

Would you give 11 minutes of your life to learn how to have consistently better conversations forever after?

If so, here is a really useful talk by Celeste Headlee on the subject.

Okay, if you only have one minute, than here is the super-summary breakdown of the talk.

  1. Be present – focus 100% on the conversation
  2. Don’t pontificate – set yourself aside
  3. Use open-ended questions – let them pick their own words
  4. Go with the flow
  5. If you don’t know, so say
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs
  7. Don’t repeat yourself – don’t repeat yourself 😉
  8. Stay out of too many details and facts
  9. Listen to understand the other person
  10. Be brief but cover the subject – like a miniskirt 😆

Yes, she says not to pontificate in a conversation – if you want to pontificate, then write a blog instead. So here I am. 🤷🏻‍♂️

The World · You

The Sun is green, but we see what we think we see.

When we look at the sun, we see yellow or maybe white. But the thing is, we’re not actually looking at the sun, which is technically green.

Apparently we see tis green star as white because our eyes and brains are simply overwhelmed. To me, this misperception is an extreme example of this idea:

👉 The way you perceive something says as much about you as it does about the thing you’re observing.

I think this idea applies to people too. Whether you think someone is a jerk or super cool, it may say as much about your own experiences, aspirations, and assumptions as it does about that person.

On the one hand, this phenomenon can help you make lasting friendships and fall in love, while on the other hand it can feed dumb-ass biases like racism, sexism, and all the others.

This idea kind of reminds me of a Jesse Jackson joke from an old Saturday Night Live skit.

I do not deny the allegation, I deny the allegator.

Jessie Jackson on SNL

When I start to suspect my perceptions may be playing a trick on me, I try to back up, gather more information, and make sure it’s not me. Because sometimes it is. ☀️

Quotes · You

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life…”

I’ve been sitting with this theory for a while that what matters most is who you are when all your stuff is stripped away – your house, your car, your bank account. Who are then then?

I think Sophia Loren is right by focusing in on your skills and your positive impact – and tying that to eternal youth. 🤩 Have you noticed that great musicians like Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and Paul McCartney just keep going and going?

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.

Sophia Loren

(The other fountain of youth IMHO is swimming. 🏊😉)

from Vogue