You

How Getting Older Makes You Tougher and Wiser

Getting older is good! Well, not in every way — I’m getting near-sighted and having trouble bending my legs. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But in more significant ways, aging makes you better.

I don’t love the name of this article, but I do like the observations it contains.

πŸ‘‰ The Incredibly Harsh Lessons You Learn with Age

These are some great lessons learned from aging, and I agree with them all.

  • Nothing is ever β€œdone”
  • Success increases with your ability to be vulnerable
  • There is always another struggle coming next
  • You always have more to learn
  • Being uncomfortable feels the best

I especially like the last one.

As you age and you understand the struggle never ends, you learn to move closer to uncomfortable situations because that’s where progress is unlocked and fulfillment can be found.

You

Happily Married Couples Exhibit Best Friend Behavior

I almost dismissed this article outright when first I saw the title because I thought it was going to be overly-simplistic.

πŸ‘‰ The #1 Thing All Happily Married Couples Have in Common

But it’s a good article and hella inspiring! It talks about positivity bias, productive fighting, and the benefits of being married to your best friend:

  • Nobody cares who makes the money
  • Vacations are easy to agree on
  • Chores are divided evenly
  • You have incredible sex
  • You feel understood
  • You fight productively

A friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow

⚠️ Just be sure to contrast this with What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

You

Why You Need Low-Stakes, Casual Friendships

I used to think of casual friendships as sort of calculating and shallow. Especially way back in high school, it seemed like having lots of friendships was a way to “collect” friends and just try to look cool. So I revolted and embraced only a few close, genuine friends. In fact, I still play video games every weekend with my elementary school friends from 40 years ago. And of course I’m so glad to have them.

But now after a few life adjustments, I’m finally learning that, as with self-confidence, I had things backwards. It’s okay and not shallow to make friends with random people (“neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class”)! It’s fun, and people like it. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ (What was I thinking?)

These two article are a good reminder that it’s good to just be a silly occasional friend with people.

β€œTake a ton of pictures, text your friends stupid things, check in with old friends as often as possible, express admiration to co-workers, and every day, tell as many people as you can that you love them.”

By the way… It’s not always easy doing this as a single, middle-aged guy. But it can be done. Women in particular may think you’re trying to pick them up. And maybe you are. It gets ambiguous. But that can be part of the fun. πŸ˜†

A 2014 study found that the more weak ties a person has (neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class), the happier they feel.

Me · Software Dev

Uploading

As an iOS app developer, there is no better feeling that uploading your build to TestFlight. You’ve done your part, and now it’s time to get the app into people’s hands to try out for real.

Actually, there is one better feeling: pressing the “release” button and publishing your app to the whole world. But that’s one is scarier, sort of like jumping off a cliff. Hopefully fun cliff diving. πŸ˜΅πŸ˜ƒ