Despite the title, this is not just one of those “beauty is only skin deep” platitudes.
Aren’t we drawn to people with hidden depth and curiosity? People who show who they really are. People who are strong, funny, creative, and kind. People who see beauty in the weirdness and in the darkness. People who are not innocent, even if they appear innocent.
Beauty can be found in the balance of all these things.
I used to think being charismatic was all about telling amazing stories and making people laugh. Not being a great storyteller or much of a comedian, I thought I could never be charismatic. Fortunately, this article says I had it all wrong. 😂
It’s about being present, removing self-doubt, and being kind and accepting to other people. Presence, power, and warmth. That sounds pretty manageable, right?
Now go out there, be in it, relax, and be nice to people. Congrats, you’re charismatic. ☺️
I used to think of casual friendships as sort of calculating and shallow. Especially way back in high school, it seemed like having lots of friendships was a way to “collect” friends and just try to look cool. So I revolted and embraced only a few close, genuine friends. In fact, I still play video games every weekend with my elementary school friends from 40 years ago. And of course I’m so glad to have them.
But now after a few life adjustments, I’m finally learning that, as with self-confidence, I had things backwards. It’s okay and not shallow to make friends with random people (“neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class”)! It’s fun, and people like it. 🤷🏻♂️ (What was I thinking?)
These two article are a good reminder that it’s good to just be a silly occasional friend with people.
“Take a ton of pictures, text your friends stupid things, check in with old friends as often as possible, express admiration to co-workers, and every day, tell as many people as you can that you love them.”
By the way… It’s not always easy doing this as a single, middle-aged guy. But it can be done. Women in particular may think you’re trying to pick them up. And maybe you are. It gets ambiguous. But that can be part of the fun. 😆
A 2014 study found that the more weak ties a person has (neighbors, a barista at the neighborhood coffee shop or fellow members in a spin class), the happier they feel.
I came across two articles on casual dating lately. One talks about the inherent frustration of casual dating. The other talks about the rules for doing it right. The former is meaningful and long, and the later is quick and right to the point. So I guess that’s fitting. 😂
Back in the day, I used to think that confidence was about putting on a show for people or just thinking you’re better than other people. I kind of hated the idea of “confidence” because I though it was an act — fake and self-serving. In retrospect, I think I was confusing confidence with over-confidence or arrogance.
I finally understand now that true confidence (and leadership) is about being yourself, having a vision, and lifting other people up with you. I keep running into articles on this topic, and this is one of my favs.