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Stay calm πŸ™ and kick butt βš”️

Here are a few tips that helped me get through times when I felt lost or hopeless. This is my practical, step-by-step guide, hard-earned and tested in real life.

Setting goals

Decide what you want. Pick a small goal for now — anything useful. Take the pressure off. Just pick something to work on that you can do.

Think short-term and what’s in your control. What can do you today, tomorrow, this week, this month? You can act most effectively in this timeframe.

Narrow your focus: Do one (main) thing at a time. You can’t do everything all at once. Once you finish a major goal, you can move on to the next with even more focus, having the first thing done.

Working towards goals

πŸ‘‰ It takes practice.

Visualize the outcome you want. Close your eyes, breath, and picture in vivid detail what you want to happen. This may sound silly, but it can help motivate you and sharpen your focus.

Work towards the outcome you want in small steps every day. Keep your current daily goals modest; keeping a backlog of stuff to do later is helpful.

πŸ‘‰ Doing Great Things is Boring πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚️.

Place your happiness in the progress towards the results, not in the result itself. Steady work in itself will make you feel better.

πŸ‘‰ β€œThe foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”

Yes, work towards an outcome, but don’t get attached to it; you can’t control everything. Focus on what you can do right now and take pride in your effort, however it may turn out.

Keep your ego in check. Do things because they go with your values and goals and not to look good or to avoid judgement.

Your happiness depends only on you, not on external people, places, or things.

πŸ‘‰ The Secrets to Happiness (Distilled)

Taking care of yourself

Enjoy nourishing foods any time you want: water, tea, bone broth, fruit, avocado, nuts, yogurt…

Try some calming sounds. Listen to some ambient music, nature sounds, movie soundtracks, whatever works. You can find these in your music app or even YouTube.

πŸ‘‰ The Best Music for Working

Freshen up your environment. Get outside for some sunlight and fresh air. Open a window. Light a scented candle or incense. Clean and tidy your home.

Move. Walk, stretch, exercise every day. Find an exercise (or two) that works for you. 🧘🏻

Taming your mind

It takes practice.☝️

πŸ‘‰ Super Summary: Think Like a Monk

Ask yourself – is this useful? If you find yourself having unhelpful, repetitive thoughts, then nip them in the bud. These are usually about a past or future that you can’t control and can’t solve by thinking.

Take a few deep breaths, then work on calming yourself.

Focus your mind on a gameWordle, a crossword puzzle, or a chill app like isowords, Townscaper, paper.io, or MiniMetro.

Work through your thoughts and feelings with journaling. Don’t hold back. Get it all out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Or just write a haiku about your day to make it more fun. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Meditate: Clear and observe your mind non-judgmentally. Scan your body, focus on breathing, visualize success, give gratitude, find empathy for others.

Feed your heart, not your fears

Fear makes you do stupid things and must be conquered.

πŸ‘‰ β€œFear is the mind-killer.β€β€œMove, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.”.

Above all, keep faith in yourself. ✌️

πŸ‘‰ β€œMay your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”

Quotes

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”

Back in college, I remember philosophy geeks loved to say, “Well, Kierkegaard said…” and would quote him and act all superior. It was so annoying.

Kierkegaard

But now I get it, dammit. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ The dude was smart. Here’s one of my favorite quotes.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

SΓΈren Kierkegaard

It’s the basic trick of life. Take what you’ve learned so far in life and use it to more forward. ➑

I really like this quote because, like with Rumi, it’s practical advice about living a good life. It’s right on the edge between “cool ideas” and basic self-help.

Wait, am I become a philosophy geek? 😱

creativity · You

Doing Great Things is Boring πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚️

It’s all about consistency, process, and patience… I know, yawn. But also, wow!

Interesting story here about how this guy changed his life in one year.

πŸ‘‰ How I Changed My Life’s Trajectory in Only 1 Year

For him, it came down to a few simple behaviors applied consistently.

  • Being curious
  • Meditating
  • Writing
  • Reading
  • Saying no
  • Deemphasizing external approval
  • Doing these things consistently

I’m trying to do the same, but I would add exercising, playing music, and goofing around with the kids to the list as well. πŸ˜›


See also

This article about going slow and sticking to the process.

The moment you start enjoying the process, you’ll realize that this is what life is all about.

And this article about consistency.

The world is brimming with ideas, but few act as vessels.

Creating is not simply laying out the concept, but adapting through implementation as many times as needed until it finally works.

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Get Ready For The Roaring 2020’s

I’ve been saying for a few months that I really want to make the most of this awful pandemic. Stuck at home with time on your hands, it’s a great chance to focus and reinvent yourself. So I loved seeing this post touting the idea that we’re just getting ready for the next phase of our lives individually and collectively.

Prepare for the Golden Age: Why The Next Decade Will be Awesome

This post says that people will thrive in the coming years if they have the right attitude and beliefs, or dwindle if they let the changes in the world beat them down.

Many of us have spent the past year not just coping with the present moment, but getting better. When the conditions are back to normal, we’re already going to have momentum. The golden age is upon us.

Is this just wishful thinking? Maybe so, but your beliefs tend to become your reality, so this is a good starting point.

And as more people believe this, the more real it will be for everyone.

The world has been through much worse than the current situation and come out better on the other end. Make the most of it.

I just feel something in the air. I feel an awakening. I have this strong conviction that a large portion of society is just done with the pessimistic outrage culture nonsense. We’re ready to take control of not just the discourse, but our own lives.

Happy roaring 2020’s.

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The Shortest Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Read

Having now read enough (too many) self-help books, I was starting to think that they all overlap and are just saying different variations of the same thing. I feel like I have unofficially graduated from self-help school. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸŽ“

So I was happy to see this post that basically captures all of the self help out there in one concise list. It’s a really good summary of how to take charge of your life and your own happiness. It has “chapters” on goals, limiting beliefs, growth mindset, thinking too much, self-care, gratitude, and all the other top hits.

πŸ‘‰ The Shortest Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Read

My favorite quote is from The Mortality Chapter.

You have to go about every day like you might live forever, but also like you might die tomorrow afternoon.

That pretty well describes one of the key tensions in life. Well said, Jessica Wildfire (is that a pen name or what?).

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Introvert-Friendly Conversation Tips

As a bit of an introvert, I find happy hours πŸ™„, networking events πŸ₯±, and other stand-around-talking situations frustrating. They tend to feel shallow, and they get boring fast.

But these events can be fun, even for us introverts!

I really like this Medium article because it’s just such a simple win-win: tips for having fun and being more likable when meeting random people. Plus it lets the people you are stuck talking with have a better time too!

πŸ‘‰ 3 Habits of Super-Likable People

Basically, it says to go ahead and be the geek that you really are and curiously let other people geek out about themselves. Hmm, that feels like two tips. Anyways, it’s three somehow. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

There is no right or wrong way to interact with people. There’s only the authentic way β€” being you; which means connecting with others in a way that feels right for you.

See also: 3 Ways To Improve A Conversation If You’re An Introvert (πŸ‘‰ Ask Open-Ended Questions, Don’t Make The Conversation About Yourself, Improve Your Body Language.

By the way, these tips overlap a lot with a previous post about easy conversation here as well.